my heart is sinking.
i try to run,
but I can't stop thinking.
i'm climbing walls
i'm on the ceiling.
it's going to take a miracle to heal me.
i'm staring down
into the quarry
i see a stone
for every sorry.
i'm on the edge
i'm going under
& after i die
i'm going to rise from the water.
i wanna blast off;
let gravity disappear.
i'm tired of falling,
falling from the weight of fear.
come & lift me up into the clean and clear.
i'm waiting on you, Jesus, in the water here,
so come and wash me clean.
the sky is red, there's blood on my hands
i can't deny
i'm guilty where i stand.
the verdict's in
i hear them shouting.
send me a river to drown this mountain
i may not have the internet for a while.
my mom is diconnecting the phone line because we are moving soon.
i want to make a few things clear;
1) i know that i don't take care of myself, or my body.
2) i will go into recovery (again) WHEN & IF i feel ready.
3) you cannot force someone to get help if they are not ready.
it will simply NOT work.
4) do not preach to me & please do not tell me things i already know
(i.e. i look unhealthy, pills are bad for me, i might die)
5) i am COMPLETELY open about my eating disorder, everyone i know knows that i have anorexia/bulimia
6) i am not ashamed for it, & no, i am NOTPROUD of it either.
i think that's it.